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As humans, we all have a wide range of emotions, both positive and negative, helpful and destructive. In order to have control of our emotions, we have to take control of the destructive emotions.
By that, we don’t mean suppressing them or ignoring them, but instead understanding them and how to handle them. We all have negative emotions, but we all also have the power to keep them from becoming destructive. In this article, we’ll explore how to keep your negative emotions under healthy control, keeping them from becoming destructive.
What are the negative emotions and how can they become destructive?
Negative emotions typically refer to those that have a negative connotation, i.e., sadness, anger, fear, etc. These emotions are entirely reasonable to experience and every human does at one point or another. However, when allowed to get out of hand, these emotions can become destructive. There are a number of ways in which they can get out of hand.
If you don’t possess emotional intelligence, you may not understand how to control what your feeling and thus not see the potential problem. When these negative emotions get out of hand and become destructive, poor decisions are made and dangerous events could take place.
Controlling your emotions
Controlling your emotions refers to expressing them healthily, exploring them, and working through them in a healthy manner. This does not mean to suppress them or ignore them in any way. Keeping your emotions bottled up and allowing them to fester is a surefire way to allow them to become destructive.
When you experience a negative emotion such as anger, fear, or sadness, take a minute to analyze it.
Ask yourself the following:
• What am I feeling?
• Why am I feeling it?
• What would make me feel better in this situation?
• What is a healthy way to express how I’m feeling?
You may find that, as you come to understand better what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling it, that you’ve calmed down quite a bit in the process.
Expressing your emotions in a healthy way
There are several, healthier ways to express your emotions and keep you from either bottling them up or overreacting to them. You can express your emotions in a healthy way by first taking a beat to analyze what’s wrong and why you’re feeling what you’re feeling, then expressing to either yourself or the individual that you’re upset with what the problem was and how you can work to rectify it.
Letting your emotions fester and boil inside can cause you to react poorly.
How to identify if your emotions are hitting destructive levels
If you feel yourself starting to get overly worked up and notice that you’re jumping to rash reactions, you’re probably heading down the road to your emotions becoming destructive.
Anger can cause you to do something violent, dangerous, or vindictive that you wouldn’t have otherwise done. Sadness can cause you to say things you didn’t mean and hurt those you love. Mainly you need to be aware of whether or not your reactions are hitting dangerous or unhealthy levels.
We all have to deal with negative emotions that have the potential to take a destructive path. However, if we control our emotions in a healthy way and drive ourselves to act rationally, we can prevent them from getting to that point.
Destructive emotions can damage relationships, cause you to act irrationally or even dangerously, and can cause yourself damage; it could even lead to legal trouble. If you handle your emotions in a healthy way, you can avoid destructive emotions damaging any area of your life.
10 Essential Oils for Occasional Destructive Negative Emotions
1. Occasional Resentment
How many times have we all felt resentful toward someone? This bitterness can be a lot to carry. It is like what they say – when you hold on to resentment it is like eating poison and wishing the other person would die! That makes no sense right?! To rid yourself of bitterness or resentment, apply the Lemongrass Essential Oil under your right breast on your rib (the hepatic duct) while saying “I am wanted, lovable, and whole” to help you embrace the situation and yourself.
2. Fear of Abandonment
This is great for all kids. Not just all kids who have been through a trauma per se. Because the perception is the reality even if nothing traumatic from your perspective has occurred. Maybe your kids viewing you going out for dinner for a date night is abandonment! The essential oil for fear of abandonment is Lavender. Apply to the belly across the navel area while saying “I embrace all of life’s experiences”. That puts the focus on feeling atonement or being at peace with yourself.
3. Occasional Anxiety
At the root of occasional (not clinical) anxiety is lack of confidence and uncertainty about how to approach a difficult situation.
Here are two more of my favorite anxiety-busting blends to diffuse:
Calm & focus diffuser blend
3 drops rosemary essential oil
2 drops lavender essential oil
2 drops wild orange essential oil
1 drop peppermint or spearmint essential oil
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Overwhelm reset blend
2 drops geranium essential oil
2 drops clary sage essential oil
1 drop patchouli essential oil
1 drop ylang-ylang essential oil
You can also use the massage therapy technique and apply one of these essential oils to your chest (across the diaphragm area) and say “Peace…Be Still”. That allows you to be balanced, calm and centered….and most of all confident and happy.
Do you ssems like you want to say that all the time?! If you are prone to wanting to flip everyone off and have a hard time with that then apply the divine Frankincense Essential Oil to your diaphragm while saying “I stand in my power.” This combination will create a more positive feeling of detachment.
‘Frank you’ for this one!
Feel like you can’t achieve? Worried about failing all the time? Apply the Peppermint Essential Oil to the thymus area at your collarbone to help you see your life unfold positively while saying “I accept growth.” Check out this testimonial of using Peppermint for failure here:
6. Occasional Grief
Occasional grief is an unavoidable emotion for anyone – we will all grieve one day – but sitting in grief for an extended period is not good for the body or soul. The opposite of Grief is Happiness. Fruity citrusy Essential Oils like bergamot, grapefruit, lemon, lime, mandarin, and tangerine are known for their uplifting, joyful, and cheering action. In essence, they are reminiscent of their whole fruit forms in the sense that they embody the concept of fruition and life realized. They remind us that we can grow and move forward. Apply one or several of those essential oils the bridge of your nose and repeat, “Change brings growth.”
7. Not Getting Enough
Do you ever feel as if you aren’t getting enough of what you need? I think as a mother I have felt this way before. When I am feeling this way now, I apply Copaiba Essential Oil right in between my breasts on my chest while saying “I am satisfied” to help me feel content and at peace with my life.
8. Occasional Anger
Being angry is genuinely a sad place to live. Occasional anger is stored in our liver. It is a deep emotion which is usually directed at someone else. The other side of anger is laughter. To fight it, apply the essential oil blend Purification to the liver point and say the words “My direction is clear”. It puts the onus on YOU vs. the other person. You can let go of the anger when the focus is put back on you and what you want to do! You can even do this with children during a tantrum.
9. Occasional Feeling Worthless
Occasional feelings of unworthiness are particularly toxic. If you feel worthless, this recipe is definitely something to work on. Because that feeling is just a state of mind and you are seen as worthy in the eyes of others! To feel that yourself apply Frankincense to your cheeks while saying “I am valuable!” to help you feel that approval you need.
Do you sometimes feel as if you deserve more than you are getting? Do you see the whole world as your oyster…
Except it isn’t.
And this seems entirely unfair to you!
To help you with changing irrealistic feelings into the reality of what you deserve for what you have accomplished, apply Lemon Essential Oil to the thyroid area on your throat (be careful in the summer with exposure to the sun as Lemon can make you more photosensitive) while saying “I can do it.” That allows you to be realistic about what you can achieve when you put in the work!